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    沒有結局的故事
      我開始走在這里,這條我走過無數遍的十里河灘。

      第一次走,是你帶我去的,那天天氣很好,我說:“我們出去走走吧,不然就浪費了這么好的太陽。”你問我要去哪,我自己是路癡,不知道可以去哪里,回答說:“隨便哪里都行,只要出去走走就好,整天待在學校里會發霉的。”我們約好了,我們到學校石梯那里見面,誰先到就打電話告訴對方,在那里等。我到的時候你還沒有來,打電話給你:“我到了。”你說:“好的,我馬上就來。”

      站在石梯上等你,想象著你的樣子,盼望著你快一點來。待在寢室快要發霉是真的,可真的喊你出來的原因是我喜歡你,想見見你,想知道你的樣子,想知道那個溫文爾雅的聲音的主人。這種感覺我無法用語言表達出來,可能你懂,可能你不懂。這都只是與我有關,與喜歡你有關,而從一開始,直到以后,都將只是一個秘密,一個只屬于我的秘密。

      你打我電話問我在哪,我聽見你的聲音是從背后傳來的,沒有告訴你就匆匆掛了電話,往后看見你正把電話拿下來,你身上穿了一件黑色的風衣,里面是一件有些單薄的衣服,一陣風吹來,你不由得收緊了雙臂,四處張望著,你沒有看見我,因為我只是聽見你問以后就掛了電話,我打算跟你開玩笑,于是走到你面前說:“我都看見你了你還沒有看見我,什么了,好不公平。”你有些靦腆的笑著,聲音溫柔的說:“不好意思哈,沒有聽見你說話電話就掛了,又沒有見過你,所以不知道你在哪。”我皺著眉頭,故意裝成不開心的樣子說:“我都能知道誰是你,你為何不能知道我是誰呢,難道是我比較厲害?”你不再說話了,只是抱歉的笑笑。我沒有告訴你,我一直都是這么作弊的,我找到別人是因為我先看到別人了,就故意掛了電話,直接走到朋友面前,跟朋友開玩笑說這是緣分,或者是我太厲害了,一直就這么吹噓自己。

      你看著石梯,問我要去哪里走,我說隨便,你便帶我走了十里河灘。那時是初冬,這里的初冬是不太冷的,但是也少有太陽,那天天氣特別好,難得的出了太陽。我們以前一后的走著,你是一個害羞而沉默的人,并不會與我說話,我不喜歡這樣的氣氛,有些壓抑。我們走下石梯一后,過馬路,然后沿著人行道走。你在前,我在后。人行道一面是馬路,一面用圍欄圍好的,我往下面看,看見不遠處有河,在此之前我從不知道,欣喜的跑到你跟前,告訴你這個不可思議的事:“這里居然有河,我走這里很多次了,卻從來沒有發現,好神奇。”你笑了,可能是覺得我的這個發現不算是發現,你說:“是啊,這也是十里河灘的一部分啊,我經常走這里,早就見慣不怪了。”好吧,我覺得自己的發現確實不算發現,現在的我每個星期都去走一遍,不為別的,僅僅只是一個習慣。可能是在感受一種感受,可能是在期待一場偶遇,而這個地方,偶遇似乎有點不可能,從來都只是情侶去游玩,只有我會一個人,不論天晴下雨的去。

      我們沿著人行道走到一條分岔路以后,你喊我往左邊走,我們便走上了石橋,那橋很寬,很寬,車輛和人都可以一同通行。兩邊都是河水,有鴛鴦在里面戲水,還有長頸的白色水鳥在小沼澤上停息。我慌了神,這么美的景,是我來這里讀書以后第一次見,我的腳步緩緩地停了下來。站在那里,呆呆地望著出神,直到那些鴛鴦游走了,我才往前走,我正怕想起自己是跟你一起的,怕你走了找不到而心慌時,四處張望,卻發現你就站在不遠的橋頭那里等我,你就站在那里,背微微的有些弓,你沒有望著風景,只是看著前方。我跑過去,到你身邊以后,感覺有些抱歉,讓你一直站在這里等,我是一個不愛說抱歉之類的話的人。笑著問你:“走哪里?”你指著我們右邊的一座小木屋那里,說是往那里走。我跟在你后面,走著,經過木屋,我們走在了木橋上,木橋有些窄,很多是并肩走過的情侶,我和你就像兩個不認識的陌生人,很少說話,你走在前面,我往后。先到的是荷塘,荷花早已過了花期,只有已經干枯的葉子貼著耳朵在聽荷塘的細語,一側的細柳依舊倒垂,葉并不是特別的綠。風吹過,一陣一陣的,它吹動著柳枝,也吹動這你的衣襟,你的風衣在風里一下一下的晃動。柳葉落下來,劃過你的身邊,一陣飛舞以后跌跌撞撞的落進了荷塘,河里,還有木橋上。我看著你,想起翩翩少年這個形容詞。我知道你有些冷,于是快步的跑到你面前,盡量離你近一點。我不喜歡這么安靜,也不喜歡看你沉默,開始找各種話題和你聊。

      我記得那個文學沙龍是你提的想法,于是我問你關于那次活動,你便開始說起來。從場面的壯觀,到你在上面認識的朋友,以及那個人的一些事,你都說了出來。那時的你是如此的陽光,說話滔滔不絕,怎樣的描述,我覺得都表達不出我對你說話時的欣喜。我就那么安靜的聽,聽你說那些事,那些我不知道的關于你的故事。關于你喜歡的或者你不喜歡事,你看好的或者不看好的事。你說了什么呢?你的朋友,你的文學觀,說你平時一層不變的生活,那些看似俗氣的,卻又讓我覺得充實的生活,好吧,我喜歡你,一直到細微處,包括那些我不喜歡的瑣事,也變得有意義起來,因為那些,都是與你相關的。四周的景我都已經忘卻,只是記得當時你的樣子,你的動作,還有我們一起走過的路,一條很長的路,一條因為跟你一起走而感覺又變得很短的路,我希望那條路是不到頭的,我們一起一直走下去,一前一后,我喜歡走后面,那樣可以看見你的背影,可以把你的快樂或者孤單都收集起來,我用自己的時間和快樂來陪他們,希望他們可以不再孤單。

      一個人走著,一個人漫步在十里河灘。我開始不去喊你,不去吵你,你總歸是有你的世界,我知道你努力,奮斗,拼搏,我知道別人可能輕輕松松就可以達到的成績,你卻要比別人十倍百倍的努力。可是你從不喊累,從不叫苦。我明白生活于每個人而言都有不同的方式,你會堅持你的事,而我注定要在生活你漂泊無依。我看好你,并且相信你會成功,就像我想靠近你,卻怕打擾你,于是我愿意做一個不懂感情的傻子,裝傻充愣的跟你做朋友。我喜歡你,喜歡你的一切,不去在乎你和我能有多少交集。十里河灘,我繼續走下去,一遍一遍的走,一直帶著想你的心情,我知道對于你,對于我喜歡你的事,我不可說,已不能說。你的世界是不需要打擾的,你說:“以后,別和我開這種玩笑,我是一個敏感的人,如果一旦陷入感情就會無法自拔,我會想很多,好了,朋友,以后別開這種玩笑。”那時,我告訴你,我要追你,你便這么回答,也罷,我是說了一個謊,我不是要追你,我只是喜歡你,我愿意這樣安靜的喜歡你。

      你不是一個好人,你沒有我想象的這么好,你說。好吧,你不是一個好人,可是我依舊看到了你很好的一面,你的善良,你的努力,還有你的熱情。你是那么相信未來,又是那么不愿意改變一切,你怕一變,就會失去一切,自己所有的堅持,都會在一瞬間潰不成軍。我知道,我都懂,我愿意接受,我會喜歡這樣的你,我知道你的擔心,于是我便讓你放心,不再打擾你,我們就這樣,像朋友一樣的問候,像朋友一樣的關心。我可以這樣一直看著你,你的驕傲,你的努力,一直為你祝福。

      我走在十里河灘,想你靦腆的笑,想你風吹時孤獨的背影,那些是你的,也是我的,我最最喜愛卻又心疼的回憶,愿你一直都好,你好便好。這幾日,十里河灘的柳樹正綠的惹眼,花正開得妖艷,走進去就會被吸進去,而我總覺得,我吸進去的東西,是那時候的陽光,那時候枯木的破敗還有風吹時你飄起的衣襟,你有些慌張的眼睛,游離在四周下掃過的余光,在我心里,暖暖的融進了十里河灘的各處,我走在這里,心在你那里。

      安好,回憶,安好,風中的少年,那個沒有結局的故事,在花溪河里沉淀,靜安。

      作者: 希南禮萍
      

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