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    清明祭奠,傷感滿懷
      親手疊的元寶,一針一線的穿上,金黃金黃的顏色潤濕了雙眼,親人哪!清明節又至,我還是趕來給您送紙錢,別舍不得花!明年我還會來!

      也許是上天對有情人的眷顧,每每到了清明節前后,天氣總是變得異常,不是淋漓著小雨,就是冷風忽至,把前來掃墓的人的心情渲染成極度的悲戚。

      每年都會準備很多紙錢,還有給冥間特制的衣服呀,別墅呀,存折呀,汽車呀,電腦呀,總之,但凡世上有的,都被商人們做成了冥間的版本,花樣很多,而且似乎買這樣的東西不能講價,那是對先人的尊敬,不能孝敬給他們打折的產品,不然用著也不舒服。

      更多的是心理安慰吧,其實活著的時候多付出一點比什么都強,人去了,說什么都晚了,送什么都沒用了;而我們活著的人總是相信天堂的存在,相信親人們能收到我們所有的東西,心里希望只要他們過得好,不缺吃穿就是活著的人的最大的心愿。

      每次上墳,總是會聽到哭聲,也總是看到一些老人在抹眼淚,人就是這樣的,年齡越大,越是感覺孤單,沒父母依靠,其實不管自己有多大,在父母面前都是孩子,都可以訴委屈的。我也不例外,站在父親墳前,總是走神,想的最多的就是以前的點點滴滴,現在面對的是一推黃土,千言萬語只能憋在心里,燒一把紙錢,只愿父親能收到,也能聽到我的嘆息,并一定保佑我平安!

      人生漫漫,不知道自己何時入土為安,可是人都是怕死的,紅塵的誘惑誰也拒絕不了,自己百年之后可有人年年來給我送紙錢,送衣衫?

      這一座小小的墓區埋著很多人,其中有很多我的親人,有時很天真的想,他們離得的很近了,如果泉下真的也是一個世界,那么他們可以在一起說話,下棋;一起喝酒,唱歌;一起孝敬老人,共享天倫!有時也這么對著黃土念叨,這樣泉下的親人們就不寂寞了,他們可以相互陪伴,相互照顧。

      長輩們一個一個的都走了,甚至平輩的也有去的了,這個世界不分老幼,上帝想讓誰走誰就會走,不喜歡那么多的病魔,也不喜歡那么多的意外,人生都平平安安的該有多好。

      點燃一炷香,祭上兩顆煙,擺上父親生前愛吃的甜點,倒上一杯茶,斟滿一杯酒,思念就這么拉長,話匣子也打開了,看著青煙裊裊上升,但愿它能飄到父親那里,能收到我的紙錢,我也和眾人念叨的那樣,一遍遍的說:“您別舍不得花,想吃什么就買什么,想穿什么就穿什么,現在都有超市了,買點上檔次的!”話語雖然樸實,但都是家常話,這是中間沒有距離的念叨,就像親人就在眼前一樣,而我就一遍一遍的嘮叨,不管是活著還是去了,我都知道父親是個勤儉的人,不會大手大腳的,雖然燒的錢那么多,他老人家一定都會存著,可以想象得到他憨直的笑著,嘴里答應著,手里卻把錢都打包藏好。

      淚就這么落了下來,毫無征兆,心傷極致,或許淚水才會悄悄滑落,那些生活的心事不知道該不該對著親人說,說吧,怕他也放在心上,擔心著我們這些孩子,也吃不下睡不著;不說吧,心里還憋得難受,就像見了父母告狀似的,撒嬌似的,把心里的委屈一吐為快;總是夢想父親會和以前一樣,摸摸我的頭,把我攬在懷里說:沒事,沒事!

      可是現在呢,一個人的路一個人走,父親的雙手已經離開了,他再也不能為我斬荊披棘,再也不能為我照亮前方的路,再也不能拉著我的手怕我磕著碰著;人生真快,我由一個沒有了父親的小孩變成了老小孩,當思念也隨著歲月拉長時,我想我也很快就與父親見面了,泉下,他還是會牽著我的手。

      抬頭看看這個墓林,這底下埋葬著多少故事,多少牽掛,多少放不下的心。不管是開車來的,還是步行來的,手里都是拎著一大包一大包黃燦燦的冥間用品,自古人們都喜歡黃色,大氣而又富貴,這都是對親人的掛念,希望送了這些錢財,他們就能生活得更好,活著的人也就心安了,不管到底有沒有冥間,但我相信,我們寧愿有,不然我們的親人怎么入土為安!不然我們到哪里去寄托我們的懷念!不然我們一一顆顆游離的心怎么才有一個地方落腳和親人說說家常話!

      把思緒拉回,把墳頭的荒草拔下,給墳兩邊的柏樹澆點水,盼望它們快快長大,這種柏樹常被人們稱為墳柏,它長得高大挺拔,肅穆莊嚴,幽靜典雅,有著死后如生,萬古長青的意思。雖然沒有研究過,但是喜歡柏樹的味道,喜歡它威武莊嚴,還可以給親人遮風擋雨,更主要的是它還有水土保持、保護墳冢的作用。我把所有的思念和寄托都放在了這柏樹上,讓它替我在這里陪伴親人不寂寞。

      總是不想走,總是覺得還沒說夠,嘮嘮家常已經成為了多么奢侈的事,陰陽兩隔是不能挽回的,也是人生最無奈的永別,我們活著的,且珍惜吧!珍惜眼前事,珍惜眼前人,莫等歲月隔開了生死線,落得遺憾滿滿。

      沒有拍拍身上的塵土,希望帶走這里的一點塵埃,它沾染著親人的氣息,沾染著思念的味道,沒有比黃土更能寄托深情的了,不管是家鄉的土,還是親人墳前的土,捧著它,看著它,聞著它,都有著流淚的感覺。

      走了,就這么沉默的走了,不說再見,明年我還會來,親人莫要相送,會增添傷感,莫要看著我們的身影流淚,莫要掛念,我們都很好!您且回吧!愿我們彼此都安好,心,才都是晴天。

      作者:滴墨成傷

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