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    因為懂得,所以才愛
      金風細細,葉葉梧桐墜。綠酒初嘗人易醉,一枕窗濃睡。
      
      紫薇朱槿花殘,斜陽卻照闌干。雙燕欲歸時節,銀屏昨夜微寒。
      
      ——文/笑紅塵 QQ:786835068
      
      偌大的校園里,沒有了當初的青春洋溢,而是被簡約岑寂所籠罩。惟剩下小部分沒有返家抑或沒有出游的學子,靜默一隅。獨自緩步在泛黃的草坪上,內心覺得空落落的,昏后的陽光柔和地讓人心生倦怠,一時間,只想沉睡在金色的細風里,如道路兩邊的梧桐葉般,微微蕩漾。倘若有一杯新制的綠酒,想必我也會如詞中人一般,淺嘗一口,便甘愿醉倒在這清秋如夢的幻影里。醉了,就不會勾起那淡淡的愁思,睡了,就不會感覺到內心的孤寂。
      
      從未與日暮黃昏如此地契合,如此地貼心貼肺。只覺它安靜如我,薄涼如我,岑寂亦如我,一種兀自而生的熟悉感就這樣,無須澆灌便枝繁葉茂的根植于心,一如邂逅了自己。也只有這個時刻,才能感知光陰是有分量的,帶有色彩的。其實,我們的人生又何嘗不是在邂逅自己中度過的?無論幾多繁華過眼,能夠走進內心深處,與靈魂契合的,總是與自己有著某些相似之處,抑或就是另一個自己。因為,只有自己最懂得自己,要什么,不要什么。
      
      所以,才會有人甘愿斬斷塵念居于深山,而樂此不疲。一如不被世人理解的逸士林和靖,明明有著顯貴的家世和非凡的才情,卻要結廬孤山,茅椽竹牖,過著粗鄙的生活。其實,局外人哪里知道,即便是擁有令人艷羨的資本,倘若走不進他的心,給予不了他快樂,也只能如浮云一片,隨風即散。也許只有林和靖的梅妻鶴子才能夠知他心意,抑或只有遠離世俗塵寰,才能讓他找到真實的自己。想到這里,也終于明白了為何有些人能夠與一顆大樹深情相擁,為何有些人能夠對著一抹蒼苔呆上半晌。
      
      一位女友說,有時她會感到很孤獨,沒有存在感,即便是融身于集體,也仿佛只是個冷眼旁觀的局外人。然而,她在素日里,卻是個青春,開朗,不乏來往朋友的女孩。其實,很多人都有過這種感覺,因為很多時候,我們對外界展露的,只是那個理智的自己,理智地笑,理智地鬧,理智地對面周身的事物,而自己真實的情感,只有少數人才能懂得。而這些懂得自己的人,往往是與自己有著某些相似的經歷,相似的性格,一如另一個自己。所以有時,身處熙攘的人群,如流的街市,才會感到蒼白,感到落寞,只因沒有一道風景是屬于自己。
      
      一直覺得雅致清秀中透著淡淡紫的紫薇花,像是一場清純的夢,尤其在夕陽微醺,落霞蒸紅時分,更暈染了一層詩意與柔情。然而,再回首,卻只剩下滿地落英,渺渺塵香,昔日的美好終還是漸行漸遠了,一些事情,即便傾注再多的深情,也無法把握。一如那傾情的初見,只一眼,便驚艷了時光,然而,倘若這些美好都能夠留住,也不會有“人生若只如初見,何事秋風悲畫扇”與“一向年光有限身,等閑離別易消魂”的嗟嘆了。都說人生是一場虛幻的夢,然而,夢里夢外,最真實的,只有自己。
      
      從來落寞都相同,沒有地域的限制,也沒有光陰的阻隔。所以,才得以讓我順著一片墜落的梧桐葉,尋覓到湮沒在歲月長河中的一抹相似情懷。“紫薇朱槿花殘,斜陽卻照闌干。雙燕欲歸時節,銀屏昨夜微寒。”同樣是清秋日暮,同樣是紫薇花殘,只是那詞中醉意微醺的女主人公,薄涼落寞間恍若更添了一份淡淡地追憶。如果紫薇的綻放是一場美夢的開始,那么,鮮紅奪目的朱槿便是一顆炙熱的心了。也許夢里,女主人公也曾有過一段傾心的相遇,旖旎的情懷,熱烈的戀情,有過“死生契闊,與子相悅;執子之手,與子偕老”的誓言,只是這段緣,來時如露,去時如電,沒有在她生命里停留太久。
      
      轉眼間,已是紫薇朱槿花殘,那飄落一地的,可是她破碎的夢與傷痕累累的心?遙望天際,想到那南歸燕子尚可雙雙對對的如影隨形,相依相偎,而自己,卻只能孑然地立在千千愁緒中,拼湊一個無法再續的夢。不知這位女主人公是否也會如黛玉般,生出“隨花飛到天盡頭”的念頭?是呵,此刻被冷風無情摧殘至離開花枝的紫薇,不正是自己命運的縮影嗎?若沒有現實的阻隔,也許,自己的那段情緣也不會如此淺薄。所以有時,愛上一株草木亦如愛上一個人,只須剎那。只因它,像極了自己。
      
      阡陌紅塵,我們每天都會有很多際遇,與某個人擦肩,與某件事相連,抑或與某株草木相對,但能夠讓我們為之停留,為之傾注深情的,總是那些能夠通過他們看到自己,感覺到自己的。人常說冷暖自知,是呵,我們的遭遇,沒有誰能夠真正的感同身受,最了解自己的人,終究還是自己。未知的旅程,沒有誰能夠代替我們完成,亦沒有誰能夠毫無私心地幫助我們,因為每個人最關心,最深愛的,只有自己。其實,我們的一生都是在邂逅自己。

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